“How can I turn off my emotions?!”
This is a question that many people with Borderline Personality Disorder ask themselves throughout their life. It’s not an easy question to answer, and honestly there is no one clear cut way to do it. So let me give you some ideas and strategies that may help you achieve your goal of having behaviors be more under control than they feel right now.
1) STOP underestimating the importance of sleep!
Sleep deprivation causes memory problems, mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, impaired judgment, high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke risk factors and weight gain/obesity according to http://www.sleepfoundationorg , so make sure you prioritise getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep every night!
2) Follow a routine.
The early bird gets the worm right? It’s better to go to bed at 10pm than 2am, because you are less likely to stay up until 3am not being able to sleep due to your racing thoughts. I personally find it hard not to follow a routine because the minute I wake up in the morning I have already studied who is coming over for which meal and what time, so I can prepare accordingly. So, what about just starting with waking up at 6:00 everyday instead of 8:00 or 9:00? You will be surprised how even that small change can help you start feeling more under control. This blog talks about Autonomy & routine in more detail.
3) Use the SAVERS acronym to remember what is important in your life
S – stay with your self-analysis and be accountable for your own thoughts, feelings and behaviours. A – ask yourself how you are feeling in this moment. V – validate your situation by writing it down if it helps you express yourself better E- express yourself in a healthy way R- respond to the situation instead of reacting T- tell somebody about how you feel so that they can help you calm down or distract you from whatever triggered this emotional response
4) Distract yourself.
I love listening to music because I find that something like Bach’s Air on a G String really calms me down. I also like to sing along (in my head not out loud) or hum when I’m in social situations because it helps me think about something different and makes me feel better, plus it’s a way of self-expression that doesn’t involve my words.
5) Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
It is completely okay to reach out and ask someone else how they are feeling, particularly if you would like their perspective on the situation at hand. For example, if you feel overwhelmed with emotions don’t be afraid to ask your boyfriend/girlfriend what they think the best step forward would be in terms of fixing the problem and making sure everyone feels happy and content. You will probably find that you start calming down just by asking for somebody else’s perspective and advice.
6) Try hypnosis tapes or videos online
There is a free website called YouTube that is full of videos and audios of different types of people who do hypnotic demonstrations to show what they can do. Look up “hypnotist” or “hypnosis” on the search function on the right hand side, play some samples from each video you look at and see if anything interests you. A lot of these videos have millions of views because it really seems to be quite an effective way to break bad habits or achieve certain goals physically/mentally/emotionally through subconscious intervention. One click away from a cure! I would recommend looking up David Pierce . He has a few videos that seem to be really well put together and easy to follow, perhaps one of them will help you achieve your goals.
7) Remember why you’re doing this!
I think whenever I feel like my emotions are getting the better of me it helps if I remember what is important in life and why I am doing whatever it is that makes me unhappy or overwhelms me. For example, If work is making me sad then I think about my family and how much they mean to me; After all we only have one chance at this thing called “life”! So make sure you look after yourself by sleeping enough, eating healthy food and exercising by going on some walks instead of taking the car everywhere (reduces stress levels). That way you will be in a good space to do all the things you want and need to do. You can also read my post on self-virtues & vices to help boost your confidence and overall mood because if you feel good about yourself then success is just around the corner!
8) Allow yourself to cry, scream and write it out.
If you’re like me and find that letting go of emotions by crying/screaming works for you then please don’t hold back. If writing down what’s on your mind helps then please give this method a try too. It may not come naturally at first but after years of repression I am now able to really let myself go with whatever it is that I’m feeling inside. Now I feel like after years of internalizing everything I can finally be free to express myself in any way that feels right.
9) Watch some comedies.
I personally like watching the TV show Modern Family because it always makes me laugh no matter how bad my mood is. It’s really light hearted, has a great cast and always seems to cheer me up! If you already have a favourite movie or TV show then please watch it because you will probably find that it puts your problems into perspective and makes them seem less significant when compared with the greater scheme of things . Anything from romantic comedies to funny Youtube videos should do the trick but go with whatever tickles your fancy most 🙂
10) Find something that works for you .
Remember that everybody is different so it is important to experiment with new ideas and methods in order to find out what works for you. You are unique so your happiness shouldn’t be dependent on anyone else or anything outside of yourself. If you are unhappy, there has to be part of the cause related to something about yourself that can be changed. Focus on becoming a better version of yourself instead of trying everything under the sun just because it worked for somebody else.
11) Get an emotionally intelligent friend or family member involved if they’re available/willing!
It’s always nice to have someone who cares about us by our side when we need them most, which is why I think finding someone emotionally intelligent would make this whole process a lot easier. I know from personal experience that having a friend or family member to talk to is one of the best feelings in the world even if you don’t agree on everything they say! In any case, having someone by your side really does make a huge difference so I just want to take this opportunity to say that your friends and family are there for you no matter what – always remember that 🙂
12) Reward yourself .
Everybody loves a reward after all the hard work put in so why should we deprive ourselves? Whether it’s a small treat like going out with friends or something bigger like buying those new shoes/bag/clothes you’ve been eyeing off, rewarding yourself is sure to lift your mood and give you some motivation to keep going.
Okay so I hope you enjoyed the tips that I have provided because as unfair as it sounds sometimes we just need someone to give us a helping hand. If you have any other more personalized tips then please don’t hesitate to let me know in the comments section below! In any case, thanks again for reading and take care 🙂
– A human being who has feelings and emotions like everyone else but instead of letting these emotions win over them they decide to focus on their innermost desires and set out to make things happen. Emotionally intelligent people tend not to waste time dwelling on stuff that doesn’t matter which is why they are able to accomplish a lot more than most people would think possible. Are emotionally intelligent people smarter?
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