man and woman kissing

Can Two Neurodivergent People Love Each Other?

Perhaps the most difficult thing we must overcome is our own neurodivergence.


           It’s as if some people are trying to shield themselves from relationships by erecting walls around them, and everyone else has some sort of radar that locks onto those with neurodivergent conditions like autism or bipolar disorder.

           People with disabilities often don’t want to feel like a burden to their loved ones, and they find it hard to trust anyone enough to share their deepest secrets, but how can someone who isn’t on the same page as you connect deeply enough for a real relationship?

           They need love too… but can we give it? As we begin to understand what makes a difference, it becomes clear that this is an issue that must be addressed.

           “I don’t trust anyone,” said 19-year-old Katelyn Coppola, who is bipolar and autistic. “It’s hard to let people in when you never know what mood the person with Bipolar Disorder will be in.”

       Eventually, relationships can become very hard if not nearly impossible to manage without the right care and understanding.

           When dealing with autism or any other neurodivergence, it requires lots of patience and a willingness to go outside of your comfort zone to help someone connect with society better.


           It’s one thing we all share: we’re not wired like everyone else… but does this mean we cannot learn how?  

           It’s a good thing to try, and the best way to figure out how is to put ourselves in a situation where we can actually show our neurodivergence.

           We must take off the mask of normalcy… it’s just not as easy as you’d think.

           “It’s exhausting being me,” said Stephen Phelps from San Diego, who was diagnosed with Aspergers at age nine. “I have no idea why this happens or where I’m sometimes going.”

       The first step towards getting better is learning how to be accountable for your own actions instead of letting someone else decide for us what we need… maybe they do know better than us, but should a doctor really know a person better than the person themselves?

           The answer is “it depends,” but when it comes to love, it’s important to be able to make our own decisions.

           When it comes down to it, you can’t expect someone else to understand your neurodivergence if you don’t even understand yourself.

       It takes time… and lots of hard work. If someone has accepted their own neurodivergence, then that is a great start in itself!

           Being open about who we are will not only help relationships along, but acceptance of ourselves so others can accept us too.


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