Rise against the dying of the light…
On the 5th day in the Psychiatric Hospital I was about to test medication called Ritalin.
Ritalin (methylphenidate) is a nervous system stimulant that’s commonly used to treat ADHD in adults and children.
It’s a brand-name prescription medication that targets dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain to reduce common ADHD symptoms.
Though Ritalin is a stimulant, when used in ADHD treatment, it may help with concentration, fidgeting, attention, and listening skills.http://www.healtline.com
I have been using 4 types of medication during my stay at the Hospital up to now, so this will be number 5:
- Sleeping pills (strong)
- Painkillers (strong)
- Ritalin (New!)
The Psychiatrist instructed the nurse to give me the fast acting Ritalin just after breakfast and I had to pay attention (no pun intended) to what effects I felt. Did I feel anything different?
Lance Armstrong used performance enhancers in his quest to win the Tour de France 7 times. He still had to train extremely hard, and the stuff he took merely ‘enhanced’ his performance.
Ritalin was the performance enhancer I never knew I always needed. Now, I have always been a very perceptive person:
- I would memorize everything, everywhere, constantly.
- I would use ALL my senses to navigate through the world.
- I would be on high alert every waking moment.
- I would think, over-think, analyze and over-analyze everything.
- I would asses and scrutinize small changes in mood, facial expression, body language and eye-movement when I was having a conversation, trying to figure out what the person’s intentions were in order to act appropriately on all the social cues I had to map and adhere to in order not to stand out.
- I would start to anticipate people’s next moves, or next words or next thoughts to such a point where people became predictable in their behavior.
- All of this DRAINED me mentally and emotionally…
Which led to my Autistic burnout and an attempt on my life by myself…
The strange thing is I was under the impression that everyone did this in their minds. The Psychiatrist assured me that none of the normal people did this. I was surprised…
So when the Ritalin started to take effect I felt an immediate sense of relief. I had a calm mind, I had a focused mind, I felt stable, I enjoyed the intensity of my mental application. The dedicated focus and the control I had over my thoughts. Ritalin changed my Life!!!
I was on top of the world!!!!!!!!!!
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